张玉莲 (Chong Nyuk Lian @ Lenny)
1963 - 2009
Suffered from cancer since end of year 2007
Had medical treatment at Mount Elizabeth Medical Centre, Singapore
Cremation at Kuching Culture Village (Kuching Buddhist Society)
Body ashes placed at Nirvana Memorial Park, Kuching. (富贵山庄)

———————-

Today is my mom’s ‘first seven days’ (头七) so we all went to Nirvana Memorial Park early in the morning. For your information, my dad got my mom Nirvana’s package and we are all satisfied with it. They are really experienced in things and guide us (not everyone know about these stuffs okay). One more thing is that, Nirvana memorial park has really heaven-like screnery which is so different from other chinese grave yard.

Her favourites

Now you see the recent me. Told you I am alright, haha! ARghh grow fatter already.

Till then. Lunch time!!

Hey, how’s everybody doing lately?

It’s glad to see that I still have some readers came across my blog since my blog has been so dead. Well, I’m back to blogging now!

I really thank those who’ve kindly dropped by and left me some comments. I really appreciate’em. Not to forget those who’ve also commented on my Facebook, texted me and those who’ve visited my mom for the last time. I might not reply some messages but don’t worry, I read them, and keep them in the depth of my heart.

Another thing that people concern the most was my younger sisters. They are doing it excellently. I believe everyone had already prepared for the worst and thing didn’t turn out to be a surprise. Two of my youngest sisters know the things well. They took care of my mother too and they knew my mom was really suffering from the illness. Of course, they also know that my mom is relieved now.

It’s been two years. Time really flies. Thank god for giving us two years to get ourselves prepared. Life still goes on. I guess there wouldn’t be much changes as we get used to the routine already since two years ago. However, the mood may take sometime to adjust.

R.I.P

24 July 2009

Friday

8:30p.m.

Weather: windy and going to rain soon

—————

Happiness: 15%

Unhappiness: 20%

Aggresiveness: 30%

Emptiness: 35%

(100%)

————–

Health: Good

Sleepiness: 80%

Activeness: 20%

Appetite: Fine

————–

Relationship: Excellent

Family: Fine

Studies: Fine

Finance: Good

————–

Mother: Bad

Father: Fine

Sisters: Good

Mr.K: Good

————–

Worry: My mother

Satisfaction: My result

Guilt: Losing patience

Anticipation: A tomorrow

不抑止内心的邪恶而相信某些力量会洗清他们的罪孽，是不符合佛陀的教义。

我们长遇到某些人在临终前更改宗教信仰，他们误以为这么做能够洗清他们的罪孽和令他们上升天堂。他们也希望能获得简单及较好的安葬。其实，这些人多年来已经信仰了某些宗教，突然又去接受另外一种全新而陌生的宗教。他们这么做无非是想从新的宗教中获得赎罪。这是很牵强和很离谱得事，纯粹是种梦想。有些人士在无意识状态下或死后被强迫转信另外一个宗教。那些宗教狂热份子这么做，误导了人类，以为他们那种信仰是通往天堂的捷径，并以为有一个高高在上的‘神’，能为他们洗清罪孽。这种信仰其实是在鼓励人们去犯罪。

根据佛教的教义，没有任何一种生命，能替他人洗清罪孽。当一个人能理解到自己犯错时，应该努力去多做善事来弥补，这样才可以牵制过去所造成的恶业的坏影响。

我们经常到医院目睹那些宗教狂热份子，围绕在临终病人的床前，向他们许诺：‘死后能获得重生’。这是利用那些病人的无知和恐惧的心理。可是，他们却无法像他们神圣的经典所说的那样，让病人痊愈。如果他们能做到，我们就不需要医院了。佛教徒不应该成为这些人的受害者，佛教徒必须通过学习佛法一一知道苦是人类基本的组成部分。唯一的灭苦之道，就是净化自己的心识。一个人自己所缔造得苦，也唯有他自己能够消除。一个人不应该希望自己在临终前改变宗教信仰，就能洗清自己的罪孽，获得赎罪。

一个临终前的人，他将来的命运是掌握在他临终前的那一念，这一念是根据他今世所累积的善与恶业而显现的。不管他在最后一刻改变什么信仰，结果都是一样的。

————————-

我的一些非佛教徒朋友帮我母亲祈祷，我很感激他们的用心。

至于那些人，所谓的宗教狂热份子，过度怂恿我病重及意识非常弱的母亲放弃佛教而更换去其他宗教，身为最亲密家人的我们必有权拒绝进行一些不必要的动作。若有心的话，不该说一些不敬他人宗教的言语，更在他人居处大声喧嚷，防碍他人，就只因为被拒绝对我母亲做某些宗教动作。

这不是辈分的问题，更不是年龄比你小就没有权力说话。你要别人尊敬你的宗教，必先尊敬别人的宗教。以我家姐妹的个性，我们就不会让我即将跟随佛祖的母亲被你的胡言乱语影响。

即使我母亲是你的妹妹。

It seems like Imageshack is hacked, swt.

I don’t know what to blog at the moment. I might as well take a break from blogging.

Till then.

Some people just have to learn.

I really don’t get it why they brought their children to hospital; let them running and making noises here and there while the patients here [especially my mom] seriously needed to rest. They never scold their children.

Just like today, I’ve warned two boys next bed several times and they still make noises wtf. Their mom was here for some sort of medical check up I think [as I heard some of their conversation. LOUD, okay?] Guess what they did in the room? First, the mother told the two boys to talk softly because the aunty next bed is very ill [she meant my mom]. I felt so much better after hearing this but…I was wrong. The mother started to teach her boys to do homeworks, and asked them to do reading IN HOSPITAL, something like ‘When the spring is stretched it becomes longer’ stuffs. A few hours later, the mother fell asleep on the bed, left the two boys making fun with pulling the curtains, turn the TV on and off, giggling and talking loudly, open and close the washroom door.

These two boys even squatted down to see what we’re doing behind the curtains. I looked at them, they looked at me with that kind of naughty smiles. I then asked: ‘Do you want me to ask missy (nurse) to come?’ They then quickly ran away with their super noisy slippers. The problem is, their mother never care about it and made my mom couldnt sleep for the whole afternoon.

ARGHHH.

I then ask Mr. K to check whether there’s single bedroom available and we are here now. So nice lah. My dad actually asked for single bedroom at the beginning but too bad it was full that time. We only get shared room with two beds. The past few days were fine but not today. Sigh.

One more thing, not only kids but adults too, talking loudly in groups or on phone at the corridor. What I meant by ‘loud’ is really LOUD. This is the bad thing in private hospital. The nurses wouldn’t bother about matters like this. Swt. Until I couldn’t stand it and open the door to SHH at them. Gosh..

Anyway, transfered to single bedroom already. Hope these won’t happen again so that my mom can rest well. Of course, there’ll not be things like ‘new’ patient coming in at 3am (that’s really shitty I tell you) and these people loved peeping people sleeping until I had to wake up to pull the curtain over. ZZZ. Interesting isn’t it?

Well…that’s all for now. Guess I’ve to stay here for a few more days. Woot.